- Mitt Romney repeatedly defends President Obama’s job creation record.
- I’m pretty sure that our repeated hacking of Iran’s nuclear facilities, assuming it is us doing the hacking, is an act of war, but at least this particular hack had some style to it.
- Up next on Fox! A creepy old man harasses young children with insane ravings!
- Chick-Fil-A adds exciting new menu option.
- Those fine Chick-Fil-A folks are also warning families of the dangers of Muppets toys, which have been known to get kids’ heterosexuality caught in them and then spit the kids back out as homos.
- Mitt attacks Obama’s cowardly plan for Afghanistan pull-out in 2014, then announces his bold plan to pull-out from Afghanistan in 2014.