please, get some extra pairs of clean underwear before you read this

The AP thinks IT has sources, anonymous sources of course from a very concerned country that we should in no way assume is a certain country that we’re all assuming it is but HELLO THEY’RE ANONYMOUS SO SHUT UP FFS, that KNOW that Iran is building a BOMB BOMB BOMB TO KILL US ALL! How do they know? BECAUSE THEY MADE A FUCKING GRAPH OH MY GOD WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!

Shortly after Ayatullah Greenwald tweeted off this defense of the psychopathic IRANIAN REGIME GODDAMNIT I NEED TO CHANGE MY PANTS AGAIN WAIT!

OK, that’s better. Anyway, in an EXCLUSIVE REPORT MUST CREDIT FASTEDDIE9318, I have been given A TOP SECRET NEW GRAPH from ANONYMOUS SOURCES THAT ARE IN NO WAY ATTEMPTING TO ACHIEVE A PARTICULAR OUTCOME WITH RESPECT TO IRAN AND SERIOUSLY JUST STOP THINKING YOU KNOW WHO IT IS BECAUSE YOU SHOULDN’T THINK ABOUT THAT STUFF JUST STOP IT, and this top secret EXCLUSIVE graph shows conclusively that Iran’s supply of DANGEROUSLY DANGEROUS DANGERS is at its highest level ever in terms of DANGER and OH SHIT THEY WROTE ON IT IN THEIR WEIRD SQUIGGLE LANGUAGE AND IN REAL ENGLISH WORDS TOO BECAUSE THEY ARE GOING TO KILL US DEAD FUCK FUCK FUCK!

Please, look at this vital information and do what you must to protect yourselves:

Author: DWD

writer, blogger, lover, fighter

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