Last week, as it looked like Harry Reid was going to invoke the “Nuclear Option,” if we’ve defined the term “nuclear” down to mean “allow the President to fill vacancies in his administration without repeated and unprecedented interference from the minority party in the Senate,” which seems like a pretty lame definition of “nuclear,” a hero rose from the Senate floor to save us all. Like Iron Man in the Avengers, he gripped the nuclear weapon option tightly, fired his afterburners, flew that thing through the space portal of, um, Republican obstructionism, and flung it into the giant warship of … uh … well, the metaphor kind of falls apart at that point. But it was heroic! Once more the World’s Worst Deliberative BodyTM (courtesy Lawyers, Guns, & Money) would be free to accomplish nothing without worrying that one of its many procedural obstructions would be slightly altered at the margins!
And who was this hero? Who was the Iron Man who made the world safe for a bunch of old white dudes to make sure the US government never gets anything done? That’s right, it was none other than Amercian Hero for Life
President John McCain! He worked with Chuck Schumer and other Democrats on a deal that would preserve the filibuster on nominees but allow the current backlog of Obama nominations to proceed to up-or-down confirmation votes. John McCain saved the filibuster!
Of course, this being John McCain, you could pretty much guarantee that after he worked tirelessly to allow President Obama’s nominees to proceed without being blocked by Senate Republicans, he’d follow up by threatening to block one of President Obama’s nominees:
Just days after playing a key role in ending the log jam over Republican filibustering of President Obama’s executive branch nominees, Arizona Sen. John McCain put a roadblock in the front of the anticipated confirmation of Joint Chiefs Chairman Martin Dempsey. McCain announced he would put a “hold” on Dempsey’s second term heading up the JCS until the general answered his questions about his personal views on Syria policy. If that sounds like childish petulance from would-have-been President McCain, that’s because it is. In the past, General Dempsey cautioned against McCain’s positions on the Iraq surge, maintaining a permanent U.S. troop presence there, launching military strikes against Iran and establishing a no-fly zone over Syria. And now it’s payback time.
I am shocked that lieberals like the Daily Kos are painting this as some kind of personal vendetta on Senator McCain’s part, when nothing could be further from the truth. The fact of the matter is that Senator McCain has long recognized that America’s national security is gravely threatened whenever we’re not carpet bombing as many Muslims (and whoever else gets in the way) as we possibly can, and General Dempsey, who is Osama bin Laden in disguise for all we know, keeps asking stupid questions, like “Is this maniacal scheme going to accomplish anything?” and “Jesus Christ, how many people do we have to kill before you’ll be satisfied?”
Here, let The New York Times clear things up:
General Dempsey said the administration had been active in supporting Syrian rebel forces, and described his role as advising the president on the risks and benefits of military options. But he emphasized that only the civilian leadership could order military action.
“I am in favor of building a moderate opposition and supporting it,” General Dempsey said. “The question whether to support it with direct kinetic strikes is a decision for our elected officials, not for the senior military leader of the nation.”
His response frustrated Mr. McCain, who said that the chairman of the Joint Chiefs is “the sole military adviser” to the president and is obliged to advocate for or against combat.
God, why won’t General Dempsey order the President to bomb people, like the Constitution intended? This is so goddamn frustrating!
President Senator McCain already built the moderate opposition, when he went over to Syria and met with the moderates who like to kidnap Shi’a pilgrims and other moderate-type things!
Also, too, General Dempsey shows a shocking and possibly treasonous reluctance to bomb lots of Iranian people because something something NUCLEAR BOMBS:
Joint Chiefs Chairman Martin Dempsey declared an attack by his overstretched military would not be “prudent” and reiterated for Congress today that Tehran is a “rational actor.”
Rational actor? Sounds dangerous! We don’t do “rational” around here, not under the leadership of
President President-for-Foreign-Policy OK-President-Just for-Blowing-People-Up Goddamnit-Can’t-He-Be-President-of-SOMETHING? President-of-FUCK-YOU Senator John McCain! We blow people up out of stark, raving terror, and once all the people who terrify us are gone, then we might try being “rational” again, OK? Anyway, General Dempsey should listen to John McCain, because John McCain was RIGHT about Iraq. Well, OK, he was wrong about a couple of things, like when he said that:
- the war would be easy
- Iraqi soldiers wouldn’t fight for Saddam
- victory would be easier than in the 1990-91 Gulf War
- serial liar Ahmed Chalabi was a “patriot who has the best interests of his country at heart”
- the anthrax used in the 2001 anthrax attacks came from Iraq
- Iraq had stockpiles of WMD
- American troops would be “welcomed as liberators” by the Iraqis
- the war would be over quickly
- Iran supports al-Qaeda
- America should not establish a permanent presence in Iraq, only to say 4 years later that we should have troops there for “a hundred” years
But he WAS right that if we sent a bunch more troops to Iraq to get blown up, they’d probably be in Iraq when all the Iraqis finally got tired of killing each other. The man’s a military GENIUS! No wonder the American people saw fit
to elect him President!