“Also, we demand that you immediately change your network’s call letters from ‘NBC’ to ‘RNC'”

Obvious anagram Reince Priebus, who is like the James Bond of RNC chairmen in that he’s white and wears nice suits, got “miffed” a couple of weeks back because NBC and CNN are both planning to produce Hillary Clinton-related programming (a miniseries and documentary, respectively) in the lead up to the 2016 election. Today the RNC voted to bar CNN and NBC from hosting any Republican primary debates in the 2016 cycle. Reince was mad, you guys:

“We’re done putting up with this nonsense,” RNC Chairman Reince Priebus said ahead of the vote. “There are plenty of other outlets. We’ll still reach voters, maybe more voters. But CNN and NBC anchors will just have to watch on their competitors’ networks.”


I don’t know what nonsense he means; is he tired of NBC and CNN not clearing their programming choices with the RNC executive committee? I mean, OK, you guys didn’t like “Smash” or whatever, but really? But if those CNN and NBC anchors were smart, they’d turn off the TV and read a book or something, because, and here’s the thing, this has nothing to do with any Hillary Clinton miniseries or anything about Hillary Clinton, really. This is about Reince Priebus, who may be an anagram but is not totally stupid, realizing that the fewer 2016 repeats of this:

Never in recorded history have so many come together with so few brain cells between them.
Never in recorded history have so many come together with so few brain cells between them.

the better chance that whatever anachronistic homunculus the GOP nominates will have to win the general election, or at least not totally terrify and alienate the electorate until mid-October. Reince doesn’t want his party’s freak-show primary debates to “reach voters,” because the fact of the matter is that his party can’t win nationally unless people are kept in the dark about its candidate and his or her positions on the issues. There’s no actual risk to the GOP from a Hillary Clinton miniseries. A Hillary Clinton miniseries is at least as likely to focus on salacious scandal-mongering as on her achievements, and the reason I know this is because I lived through the fucking 1990s. This is about finding an excuse to pare down the number of times the eventual GOP nominee will have to appear on the same stage as the rest of those clowns, period.

So, yes, Reince, keep your debates confined to Fox and Fox alone. Better yet, hold them on a dark stage in an empty theater with nobody in the audience. Just have all your candidates show up under a bridge somewhere and shout at the homeless folks living there about how they are moochers and the like. Your party, and the nation as a whole, will be the better for it.

Author: DWD

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