BREAKING: The Weekly Standard has cracked the space-time continuum

Sorry for the somewhat breathless title, but I can’t come up with another explanation for this:

After falsely claiming that comments made by investor Warren Buffett in 2010 were made recently as an attack on the Affordable Care Act, The Weekly Standard doubled down, correcting the date but still wrongly insisting that Buffett’s comments were “anti-Obamacare” even as Buffett was reinforcing his support for the law.

On September 17, the right-wing website Money Morning published a quote from Buffett saying “What we have now is untenable over time,” claiming he was criticizing the Affordable Care Act (ACA). The quote was picked up by The Weekly Standard‘s Jeffrey H. Anderson, who wrote: “You know things are bad for President Obama when even Warren Buffett has soured on Obamacare and says that ‘we need something else.'” After several media outlets pointed out that Buffetts comments were made in 2010, the Standard updated their post:

It appears that Buffett made his anti-Obamacare comments in 2010, thereby showing that he, like most of the American people, has opposed Obamacare since even before it was passed–a point that Mark Hemingway addressed yesterday in response to USA Today‘s implication that Americans’ widespread dislike of Obamacare is mostly attributable to Republicans’ efforts to fight it.

Do you people understand what this means? OF COURSE YOU DON’T BECAUSE PROBABLY YOU ARE AN UNAMERICAN LIEBERAL AND SO YOU ARE DUMB. The Weekly Standard has managed to travel back to the year 2010, before the PPACA became law, brought the 2010 Warren Buffett into the post-apocalyptic hellscape that was Amercia after Obamacare destroyed it and pissed all over the graves of our Founders, then took him back to 2010 where he, obviously confused by what had just happened, said that “[w]hat we have now is untenable over time” but meant the future Obamacare when he said “what we have now” even though Obamacare had not been enacted yet. Oh, sure, 2013 Warren Buffett denies that he was pre-denouncing Obamacare (via) and contends that his remarks referred to the system before the PPACA was enacted, but a) 2013 Warren Buffett is a goddamn communist, b) 2013 Warren Buffett obviously hasn’t seen the hellish future that the Weekly Standard was able to show 2010 Warren Buffett when they took that Warren Buffett into the future with their time masheen (theoretical physicists contend that doing so created an alternate Warren Buffett in the multi-Warren Buffett-verse), and b) no right-thinking US American could have complained about our pre-Obamacare health insurance market and the incredibly efficient way in which it punished poor people for getting sick.

YES I USED THE LETTER ‘B’ TWICE IN THAT LIST, BECAUSE IN THE FUTURE OBAMACARE HAS OUTLAWED LETTERED LISTS THAT GO PAST ‘B.’ DEAL WITH IT. 2010 WARREN BUFFETT KNOWS THIS.

Kudos to the Weekly Standard team for making this incredible breakthrough in time travel. I’d say they should use it to go back and kill Hitler or something, but they’ve clearly identified History’s Greatest Monster and they’re acting accordingly.

ABOVE: The Weekly Standard's latest technological breakthrough
ABOVE: The Weekly Standard’s latest technological breakthrough

Author: DWD

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