You get a cookie! Part 9 of ???: Lafourche Parish, Louisiana Council Chair Lindel Toups

Lafourche Parish Council Chair Lionel Toups (FULL DISCLOSURE: I tinkered with this image. There was a stain on Toups' dunce hat that I airbrushed out.)
Lafourche Parish Council Chair Lionel Toups (FULL DISCLOSURE: I tinkered with this image. There was a stain on Toups’ dunce hat that I airbrushed out.)

Oh, Louisiana, will you never stop amusing the rest of the nation with your ridiculous politics? When you’re not electing KKK Grand Wizard David Duke to your State House or electing a United States Senator who pays hookers to put him in diapers, you’re electing parish council members who push to defund public libraries (via) because, “[t]hey’re teaching Mexicans how to speak English.”

Library funding in Lafourche Parish, Louisiana, may be diverted to a new jail thanks to a legislator who doesn’t approve of the library’s programs. Jail proponent and chair of the Lafourche Parish Council Lindel Toups supports a ballot measure that would take funding away from libraries.

“They’re teaching Mexicans how to speak English,” Toups told the local Tri-Parish Times, referencing Biblioteca Hispana, a Spanish-language section of one of the nine branch libraries. “Let that son of a bitch go back to Mexico. There’s just so many things they’re doing that I don’t agree with. … Them junkies and hippies and food stamps [recipients] and all, they use the library to look at drugs and food stamps [on the Internet]. I see them do it.”

This doesn’t even make any sense, does it? I mean, if a junky goes to the library to “look at drugs” on the internet, by which I guess he means pictures of drugs, wouldn’t a food stamp recipient want to look at pictures of food on the internet rather than pictures of food stamps (he doesn’t say what the hippies are there to look at, maybe pictures of peace signs or some other Commie bullshit)? Unless Councilman Toups thinks that food stamp recipients actually eat the stamps themselves? Besides, I don’t quite know how to say this gently, Councilman, but they’re using the library to look at porn. All of them.

Surely we can all agree that the threat of uncontrolled hordes of English-speaking Mexicans roaming the countryside is worth shutting down our libraries, if not just burning all our books outright. I mean, if Mexicans learn how to speak English, what’s to stop them from taking low-skill jobs away from our slower-witted fellow Americans, like, hypothetically-speaking, the job of Lafourche Parish Council Chair? Anyway, Councilman Toups has a great alternative use for that library money; in order to keep teach the junkies who use the public library to look at drugs a lesson, he’s pushing for that money to be diverted into…the county jail system. Where Toups’ son and grandson were once housed, for drug possession. At least they weren’t looking at drugs on the library computer.

And it’s not like the Lafourche Parish libraries, which are rolling in it as you might imagine, actually do anything for the community that would justify this lucre:

Lafourche Parish is in the southern part of Louisiana, to the west of New Orleans. About 43% of its households do not have Internet access at home, while the library provides free Internet access with 186 computers. More than half of the Parish’s residents, 53%, hold library cards, and in 2013, the library system has served more than 280,000 visitors.

Councilman Toups, for fighting the brave fight against general literacy and internet access, I want you to have this plate of cookies. If you could get the libraries to shred the books they have now and replace them with these “books,” pretty soon the collection would be eaten and you could shut those damn places up for good. Then where will the junkies and hippies and poors go to look at pictures of things on the computer, hmmmm?

book cookies

Oh, and Councilman? Fuck you for equating food stamp recipients with drug addicts.

Author: DWD

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