Does anybody make dumber analogies than Rick Santorum?

“With all the ridicule I’m getting over this, now I know exactly how Spartacus must have felt when the Romans crucified him.”

Former US Senator Rick Santorum said A Thing last night, which is that Obamacare America is basically like Apartheid South Africa. No, really!

Praising Mandela for standing up to a “great injustice,” the former Pennsylvania senator continued by ascribing his own conservative principles to the civil rights pioneer:

Nelson Mandela stood up against a great injustice and was willing to pay a huge price for that, and that’s the reason he is mourned today, because of that struggle that he performed…and I would make the argument that we have a great injustice going on right now in this country with an ever increasing size of government that is taking over and controlling people’s lives, and Obamacare is front and center in that.

Watch, with bonus Bill O’Reilly stupidity:

I assume that this makes former US Senator Rick Santorum the Obamacare Nelson Mandela, right? I mean, he didn’t go to the trouble of belching out that ridiculous analogy to have Ted Cruz be Mandela, did he?

Now, you may be thinking, “Wow, that thing that former US Senator Rick Santorum said is probably the dumbest/most offensive/most offensively dumb goddamn analogy I’ve ever heard,” and you might be right except for all the other dumb/offensive/offensively dumb analogies that former US Senator Rick Santorum has vomited forth over the years. Let’s take a stroll down memory lane swim in former US Senator Rick Santorum‘s mouth sewage, shall we?

There was:

Asked by a college student why he opposed the right of same-sex couples to wed, he responded that there was no compelling reason to allow it and suggested that it was akin to legalizing polygamy.

“So, everybody has the right to be happy?” he said. “So, if you’re not happy unless you’re married to five other people, is that OK?”

Santorum’s logic provoked an outcry from the audience, which was made up primarily of local college students but also a number of local conservative voters who were there to support the surging presidential candidate.

Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum got all “metaphysical” when trying to explain why he thinks marriage equality should not exist in this country. Speaking at a grocery store in Iowa, the right-winger cited a napkin as an example to somehow prove his point. He likened marriage to a napkin, though that’s not be confused with a paper towel.

“I can call this napkin a paper towel,” the former Pennsylvania senator explained. “But it is a napkin. And why? Because it is what it is. Right? You can call it whatever you want, but it doesn’t change the character of what it is.”

“Remember, the greatest generation for a year and a half, sat on the sidelines while Europe was under darkness, while our closest ally, Britain, was being bombed and leveled, while Japan was spreading its cancer all throughout Southeast Asia,” Santorum ominously told a packed, enthusiastic crowd at the First Redeemer Church in Cummings, Ga., Sunday, before traveling back to Ohio to campaign here today.

The audience at the church interrupted Santorum at least four times with wild applause, loving the red meat he was throwing to the conservative  crowd. “We’re a hopeful people,” he continued. “We think, well, you know it’ll get better. After a while you find out some things about this guy over in Europe who’s not so good of a guy after all. … Sometimes, sometimes it’s not OK.

“It’ll be harder for this generation to figure it out. There’s no cataclysmic event,” Santorum concluded.

While Santorum conceded that Obama’s policies were not quite as horrific as Hitler’s war in Europe, the rising GOP front-runner cautioned that the president is “fundamentally restructuring America.”

Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum flatly rejected suggestions that he likened President Obama to Adolf Hitler Sunday when he used an analogy comparing the 2012 election to the buildup to World War II.

“No, of course not,” Santorum said dismissively when asked by a National Journal-CBS News reporter whether he was comparing the two. “The World War II metaphor is one I’ve used 100 times in my career,” he insisted.

CHOKE ON THAT, LIEBERALS! How can you single out this one time that Rick Santorum kind-of compared Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler, when he has apparently spent most of his career comparing everyone and everything to Hitler? Just last week Santorum called his UPS guy Hitler for not putting a plastic bag around his package even though it was obviously raining, but you dead-enders want to focus on just this one analogy? Check and mate, hippies.

Though Willard pulled it out in the end — Frothy was the big winner last night. And he was really letting it all hang out in his speech afterwards.

“One [party] wants to talk about raising taxes on people who have been successful…promoting more Medicaid and food stamps and all sorts of social welfare programs, and passing ObamaCare…more and more dependency and more and more government. Exactly what my grandfather left in 1925.”

Serious question. Has a Republican runner-up in the Iowa Caucuses ever called the sitting President of the United States a fascist? Because that would seem to be newsworthy.

Santorum reminded the audience that “we are the only country in the history off the world that had based its premise on rights given to each and every one of from God, not from a sovereign, king, legislature, or a court. We are different … America in its essence is a moral enterprise … [protecting] the dignity of every human person …” The senator warned that President Obama seeks to “exchange the ‘why’ of the American revolution for the ‘why’ of the French revolution … They replaced the sovereign king with the sovereign mob, which led to the guillotine.” And what is Obama’s “New Deal”? According to Santorum it equals “giving them more power, giving them more authority, and they will take care of you.”

However, that hasn’t stopped Santorum from trying to equate his civil service career to that of the military.

“I grew up around veterans, I grew up around, you know, folks who loved their country and served their country,” he said, answering a question about what propelled him into government service, according to the Daily Caller.

“I didn’t see working in government service and being in politics as anything but serving your country, and doing in some ways – in a civilian sense – what a lot of folks did in a military sense. And I saw it as something that is honorable and good to do.”

Former presidential contender Rick Santorum said Tuesday that conservatives are losing the battle against their liberal counterparts, partly because the left is more energized.

He compared his party to the British army that had dominated the world stage before losing the Revolutionary War to a scrappier force of Americans.

“In some respects we’ve become the Redcoats in America,” Santorum said during a luncheon sponsored by Behind Every Door, a local group that advocates for urban communities. “There’re people who want to change us, and they’re winning.”

Yes, this guy.
Yes, this guy.

Santorum’s remarks were included in tracking documents compiled by Sen. Harris Wofford, the Democrat who Santorum narrowly defeated in his 1994 Senate race. Here is Santorum’s full statement:

“…What you have to do is recognize that when you get up in the morning, you look in the mirror, you’re looking at the person who really bears the moral responsibility for the future of that country, so your children can be safe and prosperous and free, and unless you take that responsibility seriously, you have no one to blame for the Roberta Achtenbergs being in the White House than yourselves.

“You’ve gotta take that responsibility seriously, and the work you do, if it just means going out to vote, if it means passing the word onto friends and neighbors about what you’ve heard on this program, the work that you do is every bit as important as the guy who stood in front of the tank at Tiananmen Square when it comes to the future of our civilization in this country, and I don’t know if I can say it any more strongly than that.”

Last week Rick Santorum proved himself to be Rick Santorum:

“The question is — and this is what Barack Obama didn’t want to answer: Is that human life a person under the Constitution? And Barack Obama says no,” Santorum says in the interview, which was first picked up by CBN’s David Brody. “Well if that person, human life is not a person, then, I find it almost remarkable for a black man to say, ‘We are going to decide who are people and who are not people.'”

Every society in the history of man has upheld the institution of marriage as a bond between a man and a woman. Why? Because society is based on one thing: that society is based on the future of the society. And that’s what? Children. Monogamous relationships. In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That’s not to pick on homosexuality. It’s not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing.

Tired of hearing Mitt Romney crow about his record of balancing the budget while governor of Massachusetts, Rick Santorum delivered what may have been the best zinger of Wednesday night’s CNN debate in Arizona.

By Romney’s implication, Santorum said, former Massachusetts Gov. Michael Dukakis — a liberal bogeyman — is qualified to be president.

“Yes, you balanced the budget for four years, off a constitutional requirement to balance the budget for four years. No great shakes,” said Santorum. “I’d like to see it federally. But don’t go around bragging about something you have to do. Michael Dukakis balanced the budget for 10 years. Does that make him qualified to be president of the United States?”

Actually, that one makes some sense.

So anyway, if you thought that Mandela thing was stupid, just give former US Senator Rick Santorum a chance and he’ll probably beat it.

Author: DWD

writer, blogger, lover, fighter

4 thoughts

  1. Reblogged this on Liberalism is Trust Fucked with Prudence. Conservatism is Distrust Tainted with Fear and commented:
    O’Reilly Moment of Shame: “Mandela is communist” how far that can dance. Bill O’Reilly must be sacked if the Deranged Republican Preppers still hanker to smell the brick if 1600-Pennsylvania-Avenue in 2016.
    If Bill O’Reilly offends you then you need an undertaker simply because you let him win. The dumbass hosted failed presidential candidate as failing as Rick Santorum alas Kochsucker Loooser to tame O’Reilly to dumbdown. Mandela was in Robin Island for 26 years reading King Lear of Shakespeare to become Goneril. He’s ain’t too stooopid to be a communist whilst Dr. Niel Barnard knelt down to fix Mandela’s clumsily tied shoes ? Bill! I was looking the other day to “Top 10 Ways the US is the Most Corrupt Country in the World”FOXNEWS tops ‘em all. Now I need to pee. Here its. I will do it right here.. 1211 Avenue of the Americas, 2nd Floor, New York, NY 10036.

  2. O’Reilly Moment of Shame: “Mandela is communist” how far that can dance. Bill O’Reilly must be sacked if the Deranged Republican Preppers still hanker to smell the brick if 1600-Pennsylvania-Avenue in 2016.
    If Bill O’Reilly offends you then you need an undertaker simply because you let him win. The dumbass hosted failed presidential candidate as failing as Rick Santorum alas Kochsucker Loooser to tame O’Reilly to dumbdown. Mandela was in Robin Island for 26 years reading King Lear of Shakespeare to become Goneril. He’s ain’t too stooopid to be a communist whilst Dr. Niel Barnard knelt down to fix Mandela’s clumsily tied shoes ? Bill! I was looking the other day to “Top 10 Ways the US is the Most Corrupt Country in the World”FOXNEWS tops ‘em all. Now I need to pee. Here its. I will do it right here.. 1211 Avenue of the Americas, 2nd Floor, New York, NY 10036.

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