Please join me in welcoming Huffington Post’s newest Politics Fellow, with a special focus on National Security, Donte Stallworth.
You might best remember Donte from his NFL salad days with the New Orleans Saints, or the Philadelphia Eagles, or the New England Patriots, or the Cleveland Browns (but probably not, see below!), or the Baltimore Ravens, or the Washington Redskins, or the Patriots again. But did you know he’s even more qualified to be a national security reporter than his football career would suggest? Let’s list his qualifications:
- He’s a 9/11 truther
- He’s an anti-vax conspiracy theorist
- And one time he killed a guy while DUI (that’s why you might not remember his Cleveland Browns career, since he was suspended for most of it)
…and, well, that’s about it. So obviously his reporting and analysis will be a crucial contribution to our media’s hopelessly screwed up national security discourse, and there’s no way that his whacked out conspiracy mongering or checkered past would ever be used to discredit any sensible if non-CW opinions on to which he might happen to stumble at some point (“What, you don’t want to nuke Iran? Yeah, you and that nut-job Donte Stallworth! Nice opinion, loser!”).
In fairness to HuffPo, I’m sure there were no highly qualified young journalists available to take the position (or embittered middle-aged freelance bloggers for that matter), or at least none whose hire would be an epic social media clickbait win like Stallworth’s will be. So you can see how their hands were tied here.
UPDATE: Stallworth is apparently no longer a 9/11 truther. Well, technically he “no longer feel[s] the way [he] did in that tweet 5 years ago,” which is something, except he was still pushing 9/11 conspiracy theories as recently as 10 months ago. I suppose it would be unfairly cynical to wonder how recent his 9/11 conversion actually was.