In which I watch a Dick Cheney speech so you don’t have to

My latest piece at LobeLog is a favor to you fine readers. See, former VP Richard Cheney headed to the warm, friendly confines of the American Enterprise Institute yesterday, and like Frank Costanza at Festivus, he’s got a lot of problems with you people, and now you’re gonna hear about it.

While studiously ignoring the downside of the Iraq War, which is to say “the whole thing,” Cheney railed against the Obama administration’s insufficiently militaristic response to what was really a pretty wide variety of conflicts around the world. There are a lot of threats, you see, and all those threats are equally and identically responsive to massive American firepower as delivered by thousands of American fighting men and women, ironically none of whom would be Dick Cheney or have any personal connection to Dick Cheney or his family:

If you’re trying to keep score at home, Cheney suggested at various points in his speech that America ought to commit substantial military forces toward countering threats in Iraq, Iran, Syria, Egypt, Yemen, Pakistan, Somalia, Nigeria, and Afghanistan, with no particular sense about which of these should take priority over the others. Oh, and maybe in Ukraine as well; that part wasn’t as clear.

At this point, Cheney is effectively the living, breathing embodiment of Maslow’s Hammer, only instead of a hammer his tool is an overwhelming commitment of American military forces—so to him every problem looks like an existential threat to the United States. Again and again he leveled harsh criticism at the Obama administration, particularly Obama himself, for failing to appreciate the magnitude of the many dangers America faces. He chided Obama for declaring in a 2012 speech that “the tide of war is receding,” a quote that must seem almost as untimely as Cheney’s 2005 declaration that the Iraqi insurgency was “in the last throes, if you will.” We were, but they weren’t.

Please read, share, and delight in the wit and wisdom of Dick “hang ’em high, as long as I don’t have to do it” Cheney.

"I am very wise, if you will, and I have a keen sense of who we should bomb, which is everybody."
“I am very wise, if you will, and I have a keen sense of who we should bomb, which is everybody.”

Author: DWD

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