Remember those nice young Iranian folks who looked so happy to be dancing to, uh, the song “Happy” in their YouTube video? And remember how the Iranian government arrested all of them for the crime of, the crime, um, hang on let me think for a second, I’m sure there was a crime committed here somehow…
Oh, whatever, it’s not important. They did A Bad Thing, and the Iranian government arrested them in a big public spectacle that made sure their little YouTube video became a world-wide viral sensation, because that’s how you suppress Things That Are Bad in Iran. Everybody involved in making the video was forced to make public apologies for whatever it was they’d done wrong (if you don’t already understand by now, you’re just not going to get it).
Anyway for the crime of dancing to music on video, the six Iranian dancers and the video’s director were all sentenced last week to 6 months in jail and 91 lashes, which seems totally fai–HOLY CRAP 6 MONTHS IN JAIL AND 91 FREAKING LASHES FOR SHOOTING A 5 MINUTE YOUTUBE VIDEO ARE YOU PEOPLE UTTERLY INSANE?
Lawyer Farshid Rofugaran said the seven received suspended sentences of six months in jail and 91 lashes each. He said the suspended jail term was punishment for acting in the video and the lashes for ignoring Islamic norms.
The suspended sentences mean that verdicts against the defendants won’t be carried out unless they commit crimes and are found guilty in the next three years.
Oh, well, suspended sentence, I mean that’s cool. As long as they don’t break any other arbitrary and capricious Iranian morality laws in the next three years, they’ll be fine. And what are the chances that any of them will actually commit a crime in the next three years in a country whose authorities can arrest you and sentence you to serious jail time and almost a hundred lashes for literally doing nothing wrong?
If I were one of those seven people, I’m not sure I’d leave the house for the next three years. Unless the mullahs decide to outlaw that too.
Here, again, the damning evidence of their horrific crime. Please take any children out of the room before watching: