Which “American people” are we talking about?

Well, it’s been quite a couple of days for the Supreme Court. Not content merely to force America to grind out its (probably few) remaining days in the Communist hell that is a country where even the poors are able to afford health insurance, the court’s tyrannical majority today doomed our national soul to damnation by forcing all Americans to engage in full-on gay sex treating gay people like actual people. We might as well just pack up and head on back to Europe, folks (I call Portugal!), because this America thing is kaput. Can I get a “second”?

Thanks, Ben. Always with the level-headed takes.

As my friends on the right have a variety of, oh, let’s call them “thoughts,” from “say, what about nullification, has anybody ever tried that?” to “gays are the real losers today, somehow, and that makes me real sad,” to the court’s marriage equality ruling, a couple of responses from within the small burgeoning large-enough-to-have-its-own-zip-code pool lake tidal basin of GOP presidential candidates stuck out at me. Vox’s Andrew Prokop helpfully ranked these responses according to “anger,” and the angriest ones should not be missed (Ted Cruz’s reaction is laugh out loud funny), but let’s focus on a couple that aren’t quite at the top of the list (bold mine):

Rick Santorum: “Today, five unelected justices decided to redefine the foundational unit that binds together our society without public debate or input. Now is the people’s opportunity to respond because the future of the institution of marriage is too important to not have a public debate. … Marriage, the family and our children are too central to a healthy society to not fight for what is best. I realized that fact early on and that is why I lead the charge against some in my own party in 2004 to ensure the Federal Marriage Amendment received a vote and I continue to stand for marriage, for families, for freedom.”

Scott Walker: “I believe this Supreme Court decision is a grave mistake. … As a result of this decision, the only alternative left for the American people is to support an amendment to the U.S. Constitution to reaffirm the ability of the states to continue to define marriage.”

You know, fellas, about “The (American) People,” the thing is that they’re kind of way ahead of everybody in DC on this one. “The (American) People” started being OK with two ladies or two gents getting hitched back in 2011, as far as Gallup can say. Admittedly, that’s still shamefully late, but with 60% of “The (American) People” now saying that they approve of marriage equality, who is it that you guys figure will need to “respond” to today’s ruling with “alternatives” like amending the frigging Constitution, which is an impossible task nowadays even for stuff that’s popular, a category that, again, no longer includes your little marriage conniption fit.

Unless…oh, I get it, you guys are talking about “The (Real American) People,” not the regular, lame “The (Actual American) People” that includes any old hedonistic libtard or communist or whatever. “The (Real American) People” is, as always, defined as whatever portion of “The (Actual American) People,” however vanishingly small, who happen to agree with whatever bizarre/regressive/outlandish view any given politician has on any particular issue. Yes, “The (Real American) People” are probably in for a bumpy ride (but then they usually are, whoever “they” are), so good luck to Rick, and Scott, and the 15 or 20 folks who share their views and are sure they can get a marriage amendment adopted or whatever. Don’t give up the fight, whatever you do. I’ll have a good thought for you from Lisbon.


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