I found Ben Carson’s new campaign slogan

I didn’t watch the debate last night. Maybe I’ll never watch another presidential debate again. I don’t know. But I do know that the prospect of watching the best and brightest in the “Screw the Poor” party hold a debate on the “Screw the Poor” cable network was just too much for me to bear. Why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that?

But reading today’s coverage of the debate, I think I’ve found Ben Carson’s new campaign slogan. He said it himself:

QUICK: Dr. Carson, let’s talk about taxes.

You have a flat tax plan of 10 percent flat taxes, and — I’ve looked at it — and this is something that is very appealing to a lot of voters, but I’ve had a really tough time trying to make the math work on this.

If you were to took a 10 percent tax, with the numbers right now in total personal income, you’re gonna come in with bring in $1.5 trillion. That is less than half of what we bring in right now. And by the way, it’s gonna leave us in a $2 trillion hole.

So what analysis got you to the point where you think this will work?

CARSON: Well, first of all, I didn’t say that the rate would be 10 percent. I used the tithing analogy.

QUICK: I — I understand that, but if you — if you look at the numbers you probably have to get to 28.

CARSON: The rate — the rate — the rate is gonna be much closer to 15 percent.

QUICK: 15 percent still leaves you with a $1.1 trillion hole.

CARSON: You also have to get rid of all the deductions and all the loopholes. You also have to some strategically cutting in several places.

Remember, we have 645 federal agencies and sub-agencies. Anybody who tells me that we need every penny and every one of those is in a fantasy world.

So, also, we can stimulate the economy. That’s gonna be the real growth engine. Stimulating the economy — because it’s tethered down right now with so many regulations…

QUICK: You’d have to cut — you’d have to cut government about 40 percent to make it work with a $1.1 trillion hole.

CARSON: That’s not true.

QUICK: That is true, I looked at the numbers.

CARSON: When — when we put all the facts down, you’ll be able to see that it’s not true, it works out very well.

QUICK: Dr. Carson, thank you.

First of all, big shout out to CNBC’s Becky Quick for pressing Carson just a little but then totally abandoning her questioning when he slipped into Heavy Gibberish mode. Very journalistic of you. But anyway, I think when Carson says “put all the facts down,” he really means that we should put them down. We should take objective reality, where numbers mean what they mean and the economy won’t actually grow ten percent a year (or whatever you need to make your tax plan work) just because you say so, out behind the barn and humanely put a bullet in the back of its head. That’s the only way we can create a world in which any of the people on that stage last night actually make even the tiniest sliver of sense. So to Dr. Carson, I propose a new message and new guiding principle for your campaign:


I hope it works out for you.

“I like it!”

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